Welcome Back, Kotter

"It's been 84 years..."
Okay. Not really. But we have been on a three-year hiatus! Life threw us a few curve balls, we've made some life changes, and now we've surfaced on the other side! In our Season 5 Premiere Episode we chat about what's been going on, how things have been since we've last recorded and fill you in on all the latest updates to our podcast formerly known as "The Mr & Mrs Show". We hope you'll join us on this journey of trying to make sense of people who don't make sense.

Download this and future episodes of our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocketcasts, and anywhere else to find your favorite shows. You can search Why Are We Like This? and please be sure to subscribe, and/or write a review if possible to help build our show.  Have an idea for a future episode, or want to join us for a conversation? Send us a message with the link above!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Hi. Hi, babe. Welcome back. Thanks. Welcome back, Cotter. It has been a long time. It has been a long time, and I'm really excited that we're finally doing this. Um, we were just looking up some info. Our last episode was in September of 2023. And that was not planned for us to take as long of a hiatus as we did.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

I I wish it was just a really long vacation. Like we st we just spent the three years in the Maldives. Sorry, we couldn't record anything.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Well, I think our life is pretty fabulous. I don't necessarily need to know that the last three years were just exclusively spent vacationing because we've really been up to a lot, haven't we?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So I think what started the break was we moved quite a bit over the last couple years.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

How many times do you think we moved over the last few years?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Like six or seven over the last three years. But the majority of those moves were within the same community. So we were living in a house, and that was where we had our studio set up. And it was very comfortable and easy for us to go into the studio, sit down, and record a podcast, and even have guests on the podcast via Zoom. Right. It was a pretty good setup. And then our landlord went crazy, and we decided we were not in a position where we wanted to deal with that kind of nonsense and shenanigans. Right. And I think rightfully so, but where the mistake was made is I was like, well, I'm gonna show her, and we moved out like as quickly as we could. So rather than being patient and waiting for another house that fit our needs, we moved into a new apartment complex that was a quote unquote luxury apartment complex, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Uh and and there was luxury involved, but it wasn't absolutely yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

The building itself, management, the way that it was run, and the amenities were definitely luxury. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Great pool, beautiful, like rooftop, gym, and spa, and the hot tub, all the track trees, all the things that uh modern gays would be excited about.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Right. Yeah. But it was also one of those really large, like superstructure complexes where there were like 500 units versus the last apartment building that we lived in, there were 15 units, and it was a courtyard-style building in Studio City with three levels and five apartments on each level. And this is like a massive superstructure. And so with that, you get a lot more people, and with more people, you get more variety in the kinds of people that rent. And so, long story short, the people that occupied this luxury complex made it not so luxury.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

For everyone, for everyone who lived there and for the management.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

And to be frank, I found it just to be really depressing. I think I've been in a major depressive state over the last three years because day after day I was faced with the realization that I was currently somewhere that I didn't want to be, and that made me sad.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yeah. And and for two and a half years, we chased that dragon. We moved from unit to unit, each time trying to elevate our experience, trying to find a quieter spot in the building, trying to find more space. And when we first moved in in 2023, we had an apartment that had a loft, and we had designated the loft as the studio. And so we continued the podcast. But I think that after a while, the condensed space that we were living in, along with the external distractions from living in such tight quarters with other people. And as you just mentioned, that sort of like overhang of depression just sort of I don't know about you, but it demotivated me from wanting to continue to do anything other than get up, go to work, come home, and then sort of erase my day with pot and reality TV.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

I yeah. I I felt like I even if we were to do the podcast, I wouldn't be saying anything of interest. I would just be complaining about where I was in the moment. Because I I in that moment, although I I think we had both a lot to be very grateful for. You and I both still had our jobs. You and I were both doing well in our respective careers, but it's really difficult to feel happy when you're surrounded by and it wasn't a grass is greener situation. It's not like, oh, well, we need this space because we need more space, or we need this because it's got this instead of that. Most of the time you're removing because an air conditioner wasn't working correctly, or because the plumbing was backing up consistently, or it didn't work at all, or because we had a neighbor above, below, or all over us, like surrounding us that were just loud and inconsiderate.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Oh my god, the bass.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

That just made it it just made it really I I really hated I really hated coming home because I I just anticipated the thing that would happen, whatever it may be, that would trigger a response in you that would in turn trigger a response in me. And in those moments, I was trying really hard just to keep level. Um not to prevent you from feeling bad, but just so that I wouldn't feel bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

And it was a high maintenance situation for both of us, I think.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

It was a lot, and I I ignored it for a really long time, but I think I I made up I overcompensated with food. So that's where I'm at now, but working on that still, regardless.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Well, and I even stopped doing drag. I think I did drag once in 2023, once in 2024. I did a couple projects that I filmed, which we'll get into in a little bit. Um, but really there was just a handful where I did drag because again, I was I was depressed. And then I started getting really horrible anxiety over the acknowledgement of the depression because I wasn't where I wanted to be, and I felt like I had made or I realized that I had made a huge mistake in rushing the moving process, thinking, oh, here's this brand new, beautiful, luxury building. It has everything that we could think of, and we can move in immediately, and we don't have to deal with this landlord any more than we absolutely have to. And and and I'm very hard on myself and continued to be hard on myself. Yeah. And I also think that when we were living in the house and I was smoking pot, I I don't even I don't know if it was good or bad. It was just something that I did to kind of pass the time, but I've since quit because I realized that it was exacerbating the depression and the anxiety. And then when it came to like the podcast, I feel like I sort of lost my way in what the initial tone of the podcast was supposed to be. Right. And even the episodes that we filmed in 2023, like if I go back and I listen to those, it's it kind of went off the rails. And uh that, you know, it's like, was I having fun? Yes, but the podcast isn't just about me. And I felt like in the end, yeah, I was in a place where I was doing a disservice to our message, our brand, and our listeners. Yeah. And so I think stepping away for me was the right choice, and then just waiting for the correct opportunity to get this thing back up off the ground.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah, I would agree with that. I I remember like us being on long car trips to LA for for you to work or to visit family or something, and you'd be like, Oh, let's listen to our podcast. And I'd be like, No. No, no, I don't know. The best part was the opening. Yeah. So well, because it and it and it also like to your point, like went off the rails, and and maybe not in a like, oh my gosh, this place is crazy boy, but it I had mentioned to you before, like, I feel like every podcast now, it's such an oversaturated market. So, first of all, thank you for listening. Second, it's either every podcast is either hosted by a celebrity and it's likely talking about a show that they were on 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

A wannabe celebrity. Right. A Bravo Lebrity.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Or or it's yeah, or it has something to do with Bravo. And let's face it, all gay podcasts turn into Bravo Watch podcasts. Pretty much it's just what happens. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Watch what happens. Um Watch What Krappins was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

And or they they hear another podcast and they try to try to mimic it. So like they try to be the next lore or they try to be the next serial, they try to be the next whatever rather than doing their own voice.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

They put on their podcaster voice.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

And I and I feel like we didn't have to do that at all. Yeah. Because our voice really was just our voice. And so we talked about how you drive or how we like these movies specifically, and not because we're a horror podcast, or not because we're a move show rewatch podcast, but just because we're two gay guys who I think uh experience life and want to talk about it. Yeah. In in a way that maybe is just a little unexpected.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yeah. We're not a regular podcast, we're a cool podcast. Yeah. And yeah. So two and a half years. Um, and not all of it was bad. Like there, like, I will say the two summers that we spent there uh at the rooftop spa with margaritas and 80s tunes was amazing. Watching the sunset from the rooftop terrace was great. The last apartment that we were in was top floor corner unit, tons of space, tons of light, wraparound balcony, really gorgeous. But one of the problems with these like superstructures is they get built so fast and they also start to run out of money towards the end of the building. And so they cut corners, which is why we had the issues that you had mentioned with the plumbing and the air conditioning. Things were not necessarily routed the way that they were supposed to be, so that they could hurry up and finish without exceeding their budget. And I'm a person that, you know, attention to detail is really important to me. I notice every little thing. And my home is my safe space. It's where I recharge my joy battery, and I was unable to do that despite the fact that we ended up in a really beautiful apartment with all these high-end finishes and appliances and amenities.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Well, listeners may not know this, but you also make for a very beautiful home.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

So, even in those scenarios where we were living in apartment after apartment after apartment and and trying to make the best of whatever exterior influences were occurring, you always made it a really beautiful, warm, welcoming place for guests. And it always felt nice to be in.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

It was just really difficult to enjoy it when someone's base is bumping at eight o'clock in the morning or someone is down at the pool, which we were over because it was a gorgeous view and location in the building. Yeah. And it's 11 30, and someone decides that they're gonna go down and have a five-person party, which was against the lease rules, too. So suffice to say, we're not there anymore. So we're not there anymore. So finally, um, we did get the opportunity to move out, and we were able to move out early. The building understood that we specifically didn't just have issues with our experience there, but we also had issues with two of the units that we were in that were beyond our control and beyond their control. So because of and we were we were nice through the whole thing. Like it wasn't like a Karen moment where we were down in the office yelling. It was like, hey, this is going on. What can we do to remedy this?

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Yeah, yeah, I think both parties realized it just made sense. Yeah, it made sense. We signed an NDA, but there was really no DA to N.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Well, I mean, what we signed was that we weren't gonna badmouth our building or the building and our experience. And we're not. We're just saying this is this is where we were in our life. We're not talking about which building we were in. And half of it was the experience, and half of it was my perception and reaction to the experience, which has nothing to do with the building, staff, or tenants. I learned a lot about myself in this experience, what I need from my own peace of mind, sense of security and and sanctity for lack of a better word.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

I think that's the best gift you could have gotten from it, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:22

I completely agree with you. So they they gifted us the opportunity to be able to move out because of the issues that we had that really were just starting to get expensive. Like we couldn't keep moving from unit to unit to run from these problems, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Oh, I was just tired on it too.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

And we were tired, and um, so long story short, we were fortunate enough to be able to get back into a home in a neighborhood that's amazing. It's five minutes from my salon, and it's like 15 minutes for you on the three days that you go into work a week. Yeah. And it's I think it's the nicest home we've ever lived in. And me too. And we have our studio back. Yeah. So it was time, I thought, to get back on the rails and get this gig up and running again.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

So here we are.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Ta-da. Ta-da. We did it. We were gonna do it a couple Saturdays ago, but we both got distracted. So we're back. We're here.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

We're back. I know, and and it's kind of like working out. It's like once you're in the routine of it, it's easy to stay in the routine of it. But once you get out of it, it's kind of difficult to get back into it. Because you start thinking, oh, I gotta set up the equipment and da da da da.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Well, it took us a while to get started even today. I had to remember that like bicycle moment, how to do it.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

How everything works. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah. This goes here.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

But it wasn't as difficult or as daunting as I expected it to be. And I think it's gonna be something that's really good for us because you and I do really well when we're able to vocally process things that happen to us. And we're not that's true, right? Yeah, and we're not the only people that I think feel the way that we feel. Like our perception is not unique to us. I think it's a big part of the human experience. And one of the things that I want to do in maintaining the tone of our podcast moving forward is yes, let's have fun. But I also want it to be a moderate voice in an environment and in a time that is so crazy and volatile because half of reality, if not more, is perception. And one of the things that I've been saying over the last couple of years is I will not give them control over my perception. I am not going to listen to the news. I'm not gonna doom scroll, and I'm not gonna go out into the public and start screaming my head off about my belief system and adding to the chaotic noise that fires up people and ramps them up to do the exact same thing. Because where I stand, both sides sound exactly the same to me. So I'm choosing to maintain critical thought, maintain my perception, and maintain a moderate perception at that of the world at large so that I can better navigate it. And hopefully that's the tone that we can move forward with this podcast. And again, having quit smoking pot a couple years now, it's also my my clarity is kind of returned. I didn't realize how much pot was dampening me and demotivating me. And it was really just sort of a cure for the boredom that was born out of that depression that you had referenced. And and I'm happy to have moved past it and to move forward and to find my space again where I feel comfortable, where I feel the way that I think I'm supposed to feel. My depression has lifted, my anxiety is gone, I'm motivated, I'm I think I'm doing the best I've ever done in my career. I've started um posting drag again, and I'm just looking good and feeling gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Uh yeah, you're not just posting drag. Hello. You're in your thirst trap era, and I am 100% here for it.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Thank you. Well, I'm I'm six months away from turning 50. And happy birthday. Happy birthday, twins. And um that's an Easter egg for those of you who know who Kelly is and shoes. Um, and I just, you know, there's there, there are we've talked about plastic surgery, I think, in a previous episode, and there's people on both sides of that fence. And for me, I just feel like I I want to look in the mirror and continue to recognize the person that I see when I close my eyes and think about myself. And I want to put my best face forward and continue to feel good about myself because I've realized that when I go to the doctor and I get freshened up and I'm looking good and the way that I want to, my behavior is different, my attitude is different. I put more effort into how I look, which in turn makes me feel more energetic. And um, and I think when when you go out into the world with effort and intention, the world responds differently to you.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah, they do. I've experienced that. I was following suit with you. You're right. Right. You're sure you're right. Um, I also want to mention, because you were like, oh, I think we did a plastic surgery podcast. Um, one of the funny things about pot that you and I were laughing about earlier was you're like, let's start the podcast up again. We could do an episode with Patricia.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

We can do an episode about this. We could also do an episode about this. I was like, babe, we've done all of that.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

We did those episodes. That's episode 23, episode 41.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

And so, yes, you're you are correct. In the moment, I'm there and I'm present. But from what I understand, without this being a drug episode, pot affects your sleep. Sleep is when short-term memory is converted into long-term memory. So when you remind me of these movies that we watched or these podcasts that we recorded, at first I'm like, no, I don't remember that. And then as soon as I read the description or I start to watch the movie, like five minutes in, I'm like, oh, right, it all comes back to me. Now, our podcast aside, I will say when it comes to TV and movies, there's so much schlock out there that no one can blame you. Half of what I forget, I forget because it's forgettable. Yeah. That's to your point, yes, I do think that everything that they say about pot is true. I think it's demotivating. I think it can cause depression and anxiety. I think it rewires the way that your brain works. Now, that doesn't mean that it's bad for everybody. I just recognize that it wasn't doing me any favors. It was, it had become counterproductive. And I'm, if if I'm anything, I'm a hedonist. I chase what feels good. So if something isn't making me feel good, I just don't want to do it. And so poof.

unknown 20:12

Done.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Ta-da, done. Ta-da, done. And I'm and I feel I feel more grounded, I feel more centered, I feel more in control of my emotions. And I'm not in this like pseudo-existential crisis because pot is looping my brain. And I do believe that there has over the last couple of years, there's been some neuroplasticity. My brain is looking at the positive rather than the negative. I'm running towards things instead of from things. Things happen for me instead of to me. It's just a different mindset. And I just needed a moment to remember that I'm pretty cool. I don't need pot to make me a good person, a cool person, a tolerable person, etc. Well, you look great. Thank you. I feel good. Um, and for those who who need to know where I go, I go to Dr. Kristen Aguirre. She has her own practice in Laguna Hills. It's called Rad. It's off the uh five at La Paz. And she's an absolute genius. I have sent so many of my own clients to her, and everyone loves her. And um, she is a board-certified dermatologist, and she also works very closely with a lot of the South Korean manufacturers who make the machines like Scarlet and Agnes RF and Pladoo and Zerf, all of which I've had. And everything that she does is supernatural.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

She's pretty amazing and she makes you look amazing. Thank you. I always forget what RAD stands for. It's regenerative aesthetics and dermatology.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Correct. Because she hasn't forgotten the dermatology part of her practice. Like she gives me my mold checks. She does, you know, she specializes in post melanoma removal reconstructive surgery. So the everything about it, you know, her passion is for the cosmetics of dermatology and being at the forefront of that movement. But she's very much steeped in the foundation of what dermatology. Psychology is.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah, she's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

She really is.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

And I'm going now too.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

You're about to start your journey now.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

And I started, I started with the testosterone, and that's been huge.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

So we've been doing that too. So not only have we, you know, moved into a new place, we are doing really well in our careers, as you mentioned. And that has been a lot of our focus too, because I think having that is what pulled us through those moments where we were just not finding the joy in our home. And that's paid off in the home that we now have. We've learned the lessons. I am much more grateful for what we have and not so quick to take what we have for granted, which I think I may have three or four years ago.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

And that's all part of the whole like mindfulness, self-awareness journey, which I think is super important for the human experience. And not knowing why we're here, that's what I choose to focus on. That's good. I think so. Yeah. Um, so we're also getting healthy, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:15

So I'm trying, girl.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

I'm trying. With with depression, right? Come and anxiety can come different, can manifest itself in different ways. And you and I are we're comfort eaters. So when we were not feeling good, we we would run to the pantry or the fridge.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

I'm an emotional eater, both when I'm feeling good and when I'm feeling bad.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

Yeah. I I it's weird. I if I feel bored, I will eat. If I want to celebrate something, I will eat.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

But if I feel bad, like if I get really depressed or anxious, I shut down.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

That's so weird. I'm I'm the exact opposite. When I'm depressed and anxious, I have to eat everything because I have to like cover up how I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Well, I think that the whatever the process in my brain is that's linked to the depression and anxiety, I think that that triggers my eating disorder struggles, is what I'm going to say. Um, I don't think, I don't think I ever reached like full-blown anorexia, but I definitely had moments in my life where I had an abusive relationship with my diet and exercise. And and I sometimes I would punish myself for it. And uh pot also gives you the munchies. So again, super counterproductive in many ways for me. And um, so now we're on a journey where we're making our way back, we're reversing that. That takes effort. Um, and um, I'm really proud of where I am. Like I've lost in just under a year, a year in August is when I started. Um, I've lost about 30 pounds. My cholesterol is down to almost normal. My A1C is 0.2 points away from being normal again. My liver enzymes have stabilized. My vitals when I go in are great. My blood pressure is normal again instead of high. My heart rate is down 10 beats per minute. And I think also a lot of that is the mind-body connection, too. So I'm very pleased with that. My doctor is very pleased with that. And I just want to keep that movement going, that that sort of forward, what's the word, momentum. And and now you've started doing that too.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

I yeah, I think so. I I realized it was something that I wanted to be able to do by myself over the last year and struggled with still emotional eating, especially as work has ramped up. Not in stress or frustration that I dislike my job, but it's just it's a more involved and sometimes very difficult job that has grown over the last year, and that leads to my stress and anxiety, and then that leads to continued eating. But regardless, I'm I'm trying something new. We'll see how a little GLP1 action goes, and um yeah, I'm just hopeful for the best. Really, I like I'm I'm 44 this year, and I frankly I'm tired of thinking maybe next summer. Because that thought also makes me sad. And and I think if I look back on my life, I aside from when I was a kid when I didn't think about these things, I think I've only had maybe one summer where I can remember thinking like I feel beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Oh well, I can remember a couple summers where I thought that you were beautiful. And I mean, you and I when when you and I met, we were both working out.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

That was the summer.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Um, it's also very different when you are a gay man in LA in the West Hollywood culture. There is um a very strict standard that if you want to be included, if you want the not just the the the hookups, if you want the camaraderie, like you have to fit a very specific mold. And we were just talking about this, I think yesterday. Like all of our friends and our friend group in LA are all very attractive people. And it's kind of like the popular girl in school who hates being popular because it takes so much work to maintain the popularity. It's like that in all of West Hollywood, and I think that surrounding yourself with people who are motivated to continue to fill that mold kind of keeps you on par with that. But then you and I met, we weren't single, we didn't have to keep up with that anymore, and we got comfortable with each other. And I think for me, anyway, I started to rebel against the things that I thought I had to do because that's what gave me value as a person. But now it's not so much even about how I look, it's about how I feel. Because in my heyday, I was at Gold's in Venice sometimes twice a day. So I but I wasn't doing it to be healthy, it was all a vanity effort. And now I just want really good quality of life. As I approach 50, I don't want my body breaking down on me. I want to be able to continue to depend on my body so that I can do the things that once again, as as a hedonist, I want to I want to chase the pleasure in life. And if I'm broken down, if my back hurts, my shoulder hurts, if I'm overweight, you know, if I don't, if I don't look good in the clothes that make me feel good when I step out into the world, that has a negative impact on me.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

It's too bad we can't be hedonistic about the good things that we want to do.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

But well, I mean, yeah, why doesn't broccoli taste like a cheeseburger?

SPEAKER_01 29:28

I mean I really like broccoli.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

And why don't you eat more of it?

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Because I don't like the smell and I don't like having to make it and being the only one eating it.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

I do like broccoli. Broccoli is probably one of the few vegetables that I really enjoy eating broccoli. I can eat it plain, I can eat it with salt, I can eat it with balsamic, I can eat it with a cheese sauce, which then starts to starts to you know defeat the purpose. But also I think that you had mentioned GLP one and I'm on Manjaro and I'm on a low dose of it, just five milligrams, because my A1C got out of control because diabetes runs on both sides of my family. Um, but one of the things that I've noticed is that it it cuts the food noise and it helps in in for me anyway, it encourages moderation. So I still eat the things that I enjoy eating. I still indulge in fast food at times, I still indulge in sugar at times, but it's easier for me to reach for sugar-free options or to say, hey, let's do some salmon on rice. I think that the the GLP1s and the terzepatites kind of give you a little bit more freedom. But if you don't meet it halfway, then it's not going to do the job that it needs to be doing. And for me, it's not so much what I eat, but how much of it I was eating because I was eating for the wrong reasons. I wasn't eating because I was hungry. I wasn't eating because I needed sustenance, I was emotional eating.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

And that's what Manjaro has helped me with is just to knock out the food noise so that I can concentrate on other things that bring me pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Yep. So getting healthy, focusing on our careers, and I think just gradually getting back to a place where we were when we first started the podcast, when we could get excited about something and we could do it in a space that suited us and brought joy to us. And I think that's what we've gotten back. And I'm really grateful for that.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

And I'm glad we're doing it again, honestly. Yeah. I mean, this has been a bit of, I think our intention is to have this as like a catch-up episode, like a welcome back cotter episode. Like you keep saying, we've been gone for three years, almost three years in September. It would be three years. I mean, that's a long time. Yeah it's that's like real housewives of Miami season breaks. Like, and we're already a Bravo recruiting. Just just an analogy. Yeah. No, I know. Um, you know, it's it's a long time to not do something that I think you and I really both enjoy doing. And I think that it's also a testament that you get back what you put out or what you put into something. And for me, my half of the podcast, like I said, it went off the rails. And I was on autopilot for so much of what I was doing in all areas of my life. And I just finally got fed up with it because it it wasn't living, it wasn't thriving, it was just surviving. And that's no fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

No.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

So I want to be present, I want to be active, and I want to get back to doing things that I enjoy doing. And so, yes, this has been a bit of a catch up, and I'm excited for our future episodes and future guests that we can have on. And you and I are actually tinkering with the idea of maybe changing the name of the podcast because Mr. and Mrs., which we didn't realize at the time, seems to be quite a saturated title for couples podcasts.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

It is kind of stupid when I was just talking about how oversaturated it is and then realizing half, more than half of the podcasts that feature couples are all called Mr. and Mrs. Right. I mean, how basic bitch could we get?

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Well, I don't know that it was basic bitch in the sense I think we were savvy. I'm being facetious. I think we were being savvy with it because the S and the misses, which is what applies to me, not the role in the relationship, but the fact that I do drag and the parentheses is because sometimes I dress up as a quote unquote missus. I dress up as a woman.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Well, that's why we did it. It was clever in our use.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

I thought it was clever too, but algorithms don't understand cleverness. AI doesn't understand context. What are you talking about? I don't think so. What? I don't think so. And also, you know, the older I get, the more I've gone through all the things that we've just talked about in the last half hour, um, the more mindful and self-aware I become, the more confident I become in my own skin. And I think drag and my drag character and the projects that I was able to do, which, you know, so they take, God, I'm learning in the indie world, they can take years from the time you film to the time that they release. So they're they're out there in the ether, but they haven't been picked up by a distributor. Or if they've been picked up by a distributor, they haven't hit the streaming platforms yet. So hopefully, hopefully those, I mean, I've gotten able, I've been able to see all of the work that I've done finally. I've been able to preview it as a cast member of these projects, but they're not available for the general population yet. Um, but I had an itch and I got to scratch it, and that's an incredible feeling. And my drag character and know me more will always be a part of who I am. But I think that I'm also really enjoying and celebrating being in my own skin as Jared. And so um, we might we might tinker with maybe tweaking or changing the podcast just so that it better fits and defines the tone of what this podcast is supposed to be about. And I'm presenting myself in a more genuine and authentic manner rather than hiding behind a mask I've created for entertainment purposes.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

It's the first time in a while that I've seen you really embrace who you are as a person. And not that Nomi was a mask or character that you hid behind, but I did see moments where Nomi was a mask and was a character that you hid behind. And I think that watching you kind of grow into and embrace and really start to love who you are has been very cool. It's been very attractive.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I love all the pictures on Instagram. Thank you. Yeah, well, it's made me better in front of the camera in and out of drag.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Yeah, I love it. Um, so yeah, guys, welcome to the Jared Fisher show. I'm the Robin. I'll be helping you out with the producing, and then I'll chime in every now and then and say something.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Well, it's still a couple's potatoes. It absolutely is.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

No, we'll come up with some clever name, or if you guys don't have an idea, let us know.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

Yeah, if you have any idea, uh, let us know.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Just DM us. You can find us on Instagram, whatever our name is, and you'll find either of us. Yeah. It's easy to find us on there because we're always on there.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Right. So um I have two accounts that I operate. The drag account is get to the number two, know me more, n-o-m-i-m-o-o-r-e. And then through there you can find the Mr. and Mrs. Podcast. Uh, I'm also at is it Jared.john.official, which is like my acting page. Um, and and I that's also, I think that one is where I'm kind of learning to embrace and celebrate um who I am. Like who who is Jared?

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Yeah, I don't even talk to Nomi anymore.

SPEAKER_02 37:21

Well, I mean, what does she have to say that she hasn't said already? She's just a look. She's a model. Models aren't supposed to talk. That's right. So that's just a quote from the movie Gia. That's not how I actually feel. No. Um so it's it's fun, it's good.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

And then you are at Robert Fisher Design. Robert Fisher Design, which I think I'm also gonna change because I don't need to be attached to what I do. It's a good point. Yeah. So I'll figure it out. But it but you can find me too if you want to. You aren't what you do, but you are what you eat. I Mr.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

Broccoli. Yeah. Oh, can we just take a moment to talk about this broccoli hair phenomenon that is going on with is is it Gen Z that's that's doing it?

SPEAKER_01 38:04

It's either. I don't think it's, I think it might be Alpha, it might be even younger than Z.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

Is Gen Alpha that old already? Uh-huh. Geez. I know. I mean, it's why I now as a near 50-year-old man will avoid certain situations. I will not go to certain gyms because I don't want to deal with the broccoli head teenagerness of it all.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

I don't know the specifics, but I work with some people who are part of Gen Z and they're in their like late 20s, 30s. So I'm thinking that Alpha is there. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

I thought Gen Alpha was like all the babies being born since like the pandemic.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

It was, but it's not now. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

Well, I mean, they don't they're only six if they were born in 2020, honey. I don't know. I think it might be Gen Z. But you know what? The truth is for me as a true Gen Xer, no generation after Gen X really matters because no one's doing anything anymore. Everybody is just sort of not even going with the flow, but it's just it's like a lemming culture. It's monkey see, monkey do. Like you had mentioned with the the podcast, like all gay podcasts turn into Bravo Recap podcasts. It's yeah, it's everyone is just so afraid to step outside of the template that's been created by social media. And I think that that's another thing that our podcast can be good at is sort of piercing that veil, breaking through to the other side of the looking glass and saying, hey, if you have a different perspective than what the quote unquote norm is, that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

You you'd mentioned like they're afraid to step out of the template, the template, but I I don't even know if it's that. I think it's just people who see something and they're like, I want that too. I can do that. I I I feel like so much of it is is me too and not the hashtag me too, but it's the me too energy where found me too. Oh my god, no. Um no, it's people who are like, I could do that, and I I'm going to because I I can do that. And then and then and then you just get people replicating what they've already said and done, so they're going into it with no real voice.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Well, that's that's the kind of lemming culture, monkey see, monkey do that I that I reference. And I think you're right. And and I think that, you know, we we now know that the current generation does have brain rot. And a big part of that is a lack of critical thought. And that means that one can't think for themselves. Right. So you you have to everything is a template that you see because there is no more original thought. There's no more, I'm gonna dress this way because it makes me feel good. I'm gonna wear my hair this way because it makes me feel good. I'm gonna do this because it makes me feel good. Everything is about, well, this is how the world looks to me. So how do I look to the world? Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Or on on social media, did you know? And then it's something that's always social media. Always obvious, and we've always known, but they've just discovered. Yeah. And then they have to pretend like they take credit for something that they've brought to the world.

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Yeah, it all comes back to social media now, which is basically it's just an advertising juggernaut. And what is advertising? It's it's a skill to make you think that if you don't have this or you aren't that, that you are less than. So then you go out and you spend more time and more money and more energy and more of your resources on things that you don't need because all of those things that are sellable items have nothing to do with who you are as a person, your character, your morals, your ethics, etc. So I think understanding that, understanding that social media is really just entertainment. It's not like a Dr. Spock handbook for 2026. It it's just supposed to be entertainment. And I've gotten to a point where I've been able to curate my algorithm so everything is funny. Like I use the interested and not interested buttons. I get the funny AI videos of the cats and dogs driving cars uh with a stick shift and making food. And I get like the hot guys that pop up on the feed. Although, even though sometimes it's like, okay, how many times do I have to see a different guy do the same exact thing? Like but nonetheless, yeah, right. That's then that's when you put it down and then you move to something else. You say, Hey, let's film an episode of the podcast or record an episode of the podcast, or let me think about what I'm gonna do next month for my clients on their hair, or okay, what's happening on Peacock right now with Summerhouse, which I think that would be a good episode for us to get into. No, we should totally do a lot. I don't want to do, I don't want to do, I don't want to be a recap podcast, but this thing, I think, that they're dealing with goes so much farther beyond just an episode or a season of reality TV because we're getting into some heavy-duty, nitty-gritty human experience bullshit. And I think that it would be fun to kind of dissect it a little bit, break it down, and rather than being spoon-fed what they want us to, so we tune in for another season, we can actually dissect the information, figure out what's going on for ourselves, and decide is this something that we really need to market as an aspiration.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

I think I understand what you're saying. Brain rot. Well, as long as you feel like we have an interesting voice in that, and we're not just saying, like, so let me tell you what happened in the latest episode. I cannot believe that Amanda did this thing.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

No, I think the whole tone of our podcast is about our perspective of the world happening around us and how it influences us, but how we use our critical thought to then navigate that influence.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

I think it would be interesting to discuss relationship dynamics when it comes to affairs and surrounding yourselves with fuckboys and that kind of stuff. Affairs of

SPEAKER_02 44:15

Heart. Yeah. The heart she calls. Heart she hollers. The heart she holler. So I think that that is uh that puts us at our time for this episode. Um, I just want to say welcome back, honey. I'm really excited that we finally thank you for having me today. It was such a pleasure to be a guest on this. And um, I think we've got some work to do to recapture our audience. But for those of you who have tuned in and continue to tune in, I just want to say thank you. And I will I will work hard to not do a disservice to you as our audience. And um stay tuned because I'm looking forward to our upcoming episodes. I think we've got some fun stuff that we've talked over at dinner the other night, and I'm excited to make that into episodes. And um we're also going to do uh guests again. We're gonna have guests on the show. We're not gonna do guests, some of them maybe, but no, we're gonna have guests on the show. Um, and when we have guests, then we will do a video of the podcast. And Nomi can make her appearance then. But we also don't want to, again, we we want to be very intentional with the direction of the podcast. And for me, I think there's something about sitting in a space, listening to two people have a conversation about current events and their perspective of that that breeds a little bit more focus to the content than just sort of watching a vodcast as if it were another Bravo reality TV show. But we will have those moments because we want to give guests all the light that we can. Um, and we are striving for weekly episodes and then I think once a month or every other month having a special guest because we want to make sure that again, everything's intentional and that we don't just become a part of the oversaturated mainstream market.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Okay, you heard it here first. Weekly episodes. There, I've said it. Uh so I've said it. Um, I also don't think that Nomi has to be here. I love her, but I I I give you and Nomi permission to switch off. Maybe you both don't have to show it.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

This isn't this the this it's the this is not the substance. We actually are one, we are the same person. I have integrated who's here this week. No, no here's the thing. Okay. I I'm the brains of the operation. Nomi is the face of the operation. That's what they always say. So if the camera is going to be on, then I think it's fun, if not fair, to present Nomi to the audience for those who are interested in it. And for our regularly scheduled programming, you don't need to see what I look like because this isn't a podcast about looks or aesthetics. This is a podcast about thought and voice.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

I think you're right. It should just be about fun. I agree. Yeah. And I had fun tonight. Thank you, honey. Me too too. Oh, thank you. I know you've been wanting to do this for a long time. Yep. And and we've been putting it off. So I'm happy that we're doing it and we're making it happen.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

Me too. All right, let's wrap this gig up now. Okay, bye. Bye.